"You meet. You know. Then you must say good bye. It's Beautiful no?" -Karma

The quote is from this guy Karma who became my mentor throughout my research period- he is just truly amazing and inspiring and this is what he said to me when we had our good bye... cutieface.

SO... my semester is over! I had to say bye to most of the kids in the group and my teachers, and Dharamsala, and the shop owners and my homestay family et cetera and it was really nice. Only a sad goodbye with the group because we all really did share an incredible semester together and we really did go through it all together and while most of us will be back in Dharamsala one day I really think that the "first time" experience of anything is beautiful and priceless and i am lucky to have gone through it will my group. As for Dharamsala and my school and my roommate and the tea stall owners... I will be back soon and I'm not sad..

Our semester ended with a private audience with HHDL!! It was quite the experience... meeting a world leader! He is really nice. It was extremely emotional for some of my friends... and then when they cried i started to cry because my friends were just SO happy... It is weird to explain but I guess i look at him as a nice guy who has really stepped up in the world as a promoter for nonviolence... i admire him like i admire Ghandi, and MLK jr... Dennis Dalton... but some of my friends and teachers and many many Tibetans view him as not only a world leader but as a spiritual leader, a Buddhist scholar (which i would agree with), and possibly as an enlightened being which would make him omniscient... so you could only imagine the emotional rush that came before our meeting...

We asked him five questions... i dont have them on me right now but when i do i will post them... most of them were philosophy based and his answers were fantastic... we also asked him one question about international relations... we asked ( and i cant write the question verbatim but i will sum it up... basically she asked...) if all individuals come to a situation with their own cultural and personal understanding of the world and of how situations should be fixed... how are we supposed to resolve conflict in the international arena when each actor is coming to the table with his own understanding of what life is, ethics are, and problems are??... my friend's question was better but i honestly dont remember how she worded it...

anyways.... HHDL responded by saying that we have to find the commonalities between the actors and to do so we have to go down to the simplest level... for example, we are all human- so we need to work for humanity... he then went on to talk about the importance of introducing such a concept to individuals at a young age and how we have to train the youth with compassion and care for humanity... then he said education is important..

DING DING DING... um Dalton anyone? John Lennon said the same thing too! This made me so happy! I was so scared that i was going to sit in this audience and have some sort of worldly experience and have a physical reaction... because that would mean there is something more to him on a level i cannot experience yet and if i figured out that that was true i would just have to shave my head and become a nun and figure it out... but guess what?? i dont have to! why? because he spoke a truth that i absolutely admire and respect and i can confidently say that it is a TRUTH because other compassionate and wise people have said the same thing! I walked out smiling.. it was a great experience... and i dont have to shave my head ;)

So voila! Program over! Hang out with HHDL! Bye bye Dharamsala! Who would have guess that THIS is the time my mind would actually be blown??

SOOOO... After i tied up all of the loose ends in Dharamsala my friends and i went to Manali... a very cute... VERY touristy (Indian, Israeli, and Westerners alike) area... I would say more but i got sick and ended up spending the entire time in the bathroom reading Dharma Bums... classic right? Well... all i have to say about Manali is that i got to hang out with my cousin Naama more (she is in India from Israel doing her post-army trip) and my friends and i picked up a new friend... an Aussie named Brad... AND I MET A YAK!! I don't expect you to care at all... i dont even think i knew what a yak was before i came on this trip but my god!! I spent this entire semester learning about the Tibetan Plateau and about the flora and fauna that the Tibetans have mostly been living without since 1959... and seeing a yak for the first time was like hearing about the north pole for your entire life and then actually going there and meeting Santa! It was magical! Yaks are weird and HUGE and look like they should be in a science fiction movie..

Not only did i meet a yak but i also met an angora rabbit... PLEASE GOOGLE NOW... remember how i spoke about the Indian camels and elephants putting all that i have known to shame?? well these rabbits are not only the softest animals in the world they are also fucking huge!

We only went to Manali because it is on the way to Leh, Ladakh... you may ask how to get to Ladakh? well... it is a 20 hour drive from Manali... It is only 292.0444 miles away!! WHAT? So why the hell did it take so long? because one has to drive through the Himalayas to get there! That means up and down and around mountains for 20 hours... that is about 15 miles per hour.... sounds slow but it is on "not-so-much" roads and ice everywhere and mountain to our right CLIFF to the left.. scary as shit... I am only writing this now because i am alive and well and will never do it again BUT our driver drove the ENTIRE way without sleep and he was chewing on CAT the entire time and smoking hash... you wont believe me but he really was an amazing driver... he really was...

So... we gathered our belongings and our new friend Brad and we met the 10 seater cab we hired.... we got into the car and realized that there was an empty seat... SWEET!! right? no... because in india that would never happen... a seat would NEVER go unfilled... so... the driver took us to the closest bus stand and just sat there and said "we find one more"... i was sitting there thinking "you must be fucking kidding me... what are the odds that we will find ONE person in this parking lot at 2am who wants to hitch a ride across the himalayas to Leh?" obviously... India smacked elinor across the face and not only did we find ONE person.. we found FIVE Nepalese men... four of which sat on the floor the entire time... the floor... let's talk about the drive so that you understand how insane this is...

The first part of the drive is called the Rhotang Pass... which literally translates into "the pass of piles of dead bodies" I am not kidding... google it if you dont believe me... it is a CRAZY drive! For the first half i was sitting with Brad and we were talking about how we have never ever seen such a sky of stars in our lives! Then Brad said "Wait, I have never looked to my side and seen this many stars!" THAT is how high up we were! So.. this part of the drive was complete ice- literally a wall of ice to the left.. cliff to the right... great... we turned a corner and saw WILD HORSES... NO JOKE this was the most magical thing i have ever seen in my life... again, these horses were bigger than any horse i have ever seen.. and they were just galloping on the ice in the moonlight- ahhh it was incredible..

then i slept... or at least tried to... it was SO COLD and so bumpy and a part of me thought "i refuse to die in my sleep on this road so at least stay up so you can see the view..." in the mean time everyone started to get sick... the altitude sickness started and the car sickness continued... one third of the people in the car puked the entire way... fabulous! small 10 person car with 15 people in it... 5 of which are puking... lovely..

So the drive went on! I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH BEAUTIFUL MOUNTAINS AND NATURE IN MY LIFE... IF I CAN OFFER YOU ONE PIECE OF ADVICE FOR THE FUTURE MAKING THIS TRIP WOULD BE IT (get it?) But i am serious, it was the MOST worth while trip i have ever done.... PLEASE consider doing it... at least consider it!

So altitude sickness... when will it happen? i dont know... i didnt even know it was happening to be honest.. but the first time we had a pee stop i got out and just started to laugh.. i could NOT stop... i felt like i was drunk and then laughed so hard that i almost puked... at the time it was funny because everyone else was out of it and delirious but altitude sickness is definitely scary... we went through the second highest pass in the world... called Taglangla which is 17,582 miles high!! WHAT? Most of my friends stayed in the car but i had to get out... i needed air... turns out there is no air up there... but it is beautiful nonetheless.. really really incredible... pictures will come soon...

Along the drive we then went through extremely lush areas... ice again.... deserts... and ice again... along the way we saw nomads! NOMADS! really? it was so exciting! I am actually going to go try and live with some this weekend... but i shall let you know...

So the drive was over! well... nearly over! We were 30 minutes away from Leh and we stopped in a town... why? because the driver had a doctor's check up... this was at 10pm and we were 30 damn minutes away from Leh... you should have seen the faces of the people in the car.... i just fell asleep.

So we are in Leh! Actually the most beautiful place i have ever been to in my life... number one no question... it is surrounded by mountains on ALL SIDES... desert mountains, snow capped mountains in the distance... there are a few trees here and again... NO AIR! we spent the first day in bed... literally i slept for 30 hours.. because our bodies needed to get used to the change in altitude... i go to the bathroom and am out of breath- it is actually a bit funny... sad... scary... but funny. It is just incredible being on the Tibetan Plateau.. this is the perfect way to end my semester... just incredible- everything is coming together physically.. seeing monasteries build on the sides of the mountains... and seeing the animals.. and the Ladakhis... and now it makes sense that all they eat is dri butter, grains and yak meat.. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE HERE! Vegetables and fruit are SO expensive because they have to bring them in from god knows where... some far off lands... as if you could get further from here... i dont know.

This is where i am and i am having an incredible time.. really really incredible... I want to write more and i will when i have time next but it is now 11pm and this internet shop closes at 10pm... I'm a shmuck... a shmuck sending love from the top of the world!!!

xxxxxxxxe

small thoughts...

I was on the phone with my mom and I realized that when I sit down to add to this blog only the ridiculous stories of mine come to mind and then I don’t share the subtleties of India with you… and the small things are what make this country what it is.

So, a few small things that I have found that make India India…

         Indian Vogue costs 100Rs. (about 2$) which isn’t that much right?  Well… for the elite few in Mumbai and Delhi it is probably nothing… but where I am living that is more than I will spend on one meal… a monthly income for the average person in this village is about 4,000Rs. (about $80) and remember that most of the people in this country live in great poverty in shanties… 100 Rs is a lot.... 

         Looking through Indian Vogue while in Dharamkot is hilarious. I would guess that maybe 0.5% of the population in the USA can afford the $27,000 Balenciaga cocktail dress that is advertised in Vogue… but could you imagine if the average American didn’t even make $27,000 in a lifetime?  Isn’t that just absurd?  The last issue of Indian Vogue I read had an article about the ridiculously competitive and stressful application process one must go through to get their kids into the best private preschools in the big cities… I spend most of my day surrounded by kids who are not in school and by people who are illiterate because they never went to school. 

It is actually even funnier to read American magazines while here… my friend gave me an old copy of American Elle and on the cover it said something like “how to get thin, be happy, and make money in 2 weeks!”  I forget that I am from a world where everything must be accomplished quickly.  Pay attention to what advertisements are thrown in your face… how stupid of us to believe that we can change our body’s metabolism, figure out what “happiness” is and accomplish it, and make money in two weeks?  I would not say that Indians are happier than Americans… that would be silly, but I can say that the more relaxed state of mind that a lot of these mountain people have just makes life easier.  Fewer disappointments.  There have definitely been times in my life when I thought “If you lose 10 pounds you will be happy. Period. Full stop.”  How stupid is that?  I could continue to mock myself but let’s think about why I thought that… I was raised in a society that flat out said, the more money you have and the thinner you are the happier you will be… What I am starting to realize is that that happiness that the promoters of slim-ness and riches promise me is not that happiness that I want.  Also, how is it that I was trained to believe that “happiness” was something that could be achieved/attained/secured in 10 days with the advice from a magazine?  I don’t think I ever actually believed in any of that crap- to be honest, I don’t actually read magazines… I just look at the pictures… but anyways- I think it is unhealthy to grow up surrounded by that mentality.  I don’t think that the answer is to move to a remote village on the other side of the world but there must be an “opt out” button that Americans can press to get away from that mind clutter and garbage. 

         There is a boy who lives in Mcleod Ganj who cannot be over the age of 14 and is forced to drag himself around town because from his waist down his body is completely deformed.  So, his lame body lies on top of a flattened cardboard box and he uses his forearms to drag himself around. Every pull he has to stop to grab his tin money basket.  I am assuming that he has polio… polio…a disease that comes to mind when I think of the great depression… 1920s!  Its 2009 and people in this country are suffering and dying form things that we got vaccinated against within the first week after we were born.  How is that possible?  Remember Shigella?  Well… Shigella doesn’t kill people… it’s the dehydration from Shigella that kills most infants in this country.  When I went to the clinic in Delhi I paid $4 for each liter of hydration liquid.  I am 21 years old, 5”5 and probably weigh as much as 4-5 infants?  If I needed about 20$ worth of hydration liquids to make me walk out of the clinic alive… how much do you think a little baby would need?  Isn’t there a moral responsibility shared by all of us to fix this?  It seems stupid actually… it just doesn’t make sense to me.  It is like saying “Thousands of children die every day in Mongolia from paper cuts.”  Hmm… something isn’t right.  I know that Paul Farmer has done and continues to do A LOT for such causes and I admire him greatly for it and I am also slightly embarrassed for not doing anything myself to help the issue. 

         So I came to India thinking that there is a chance that I would get an amoeba or worm or something from the food… but did you know that you can get hepatitis from the water here?  There is literally shit in the water… Shit. In. The. Water.  If it weren’t so serious I would have to laugh. 

         If a salesman doesn’t have change he will say “come back tomorrow” or “here, take 10 pieces of gum to make up the difference” or “next time you pay less.” If one of the customers doesn’t have change or enough money the salesman will say “don’t worry take it and come back tomorrow to pay me.”  The amount of trust that goes into what I would call quotidian transactions is inspiring.  Even in a country that is spoiled by so much corruption, I see more confidence and faith between people here than I have seen anywhere else in the world. 

         Women do not have easy lives here.  Full stop.  I have had many Indian women tell me that “being a woman in India is hard.”  Spousal abuse here is horrifically common and while I am sure there are a lot of women’s rights movements or organizations around India, there is no outlet for the women in these remote parts of the country.  Some of the stories just make me want to scream, I took a cooking class with this beautiful girl, Ritya, and she was telling me that her nephew has been crying for days and that her sister is scared because they are leaving soon.  I looked at her with this confused look on my face because first of all, have you taken the baby to the doctor? Why do you think he is crying? Why does your sister have to leave now? Where is she going? Can’t she just wait till the baby was ok? 

Ritya said that they took him to the hospital but the doctor doesn’t know what is going on, they are all scared because the baby is still under 1 year old and a lot of children die within their first year, and her sister has to go back to her mother-in-law’s house because as a married woman you move in with your husband’s family and she is scared because she knows that her mother-in-law will blame her for the baby’s sickness and she doesn’t know what the mother-in-law will do.  What what what what what what what?? I forget how lucky I am to have been raised in a country that has at least had women’s rights on the menu for the past 40-50 years… there are so many feminist groups in the US that say that we have so much farther to go, and yes, I think it will be a LONG time before women and men are completely equal but my god, we have gone so far! I don’t want to settle but I am definitely impressed with where women stand in the West.

         Travel time in India makes me laugh.  All one needs to travel in India is money, some sort of stomach medicine, and PATIENCE.  My flight from JFK to Delhi was 14 hours… now I am 14 hours away from Delhi by car.  It will take me as long to get home as it does to get to the closest legitimate city or airport.  I am planning my trip to Leh, Ladakh and I can either drive there from here which would take three days OR I can drive 14 hours to Delhi and hop on a 1 hour flight to Leh.  WHAT?  I actually don’t understand how that works.. I haven’t done much traveling in India at all but the few trips that I did do felt like epic journeys.. now, look a map… I live in Dharamsala, went to Amritsar for the weekend and then went to Varanasi for a week.. WHAT?  I am used to driving to Pittsburgh in 6 hours or to LA in less than a week!  India makes me laugh. 

Also, he tickets for the first class on the train are ALWAYS sold out… how is that possible? There are trains running all day around this entire massive country… so how can the tickets be sold out?  Oh, I forgot that there are over one BILLION people living in this country…  that is insane!  India is a world.

Also.. patience.. there is one ATM in Mcleod Ganj… one!!… you need money? Have fun!… go wait on line and hope that you get money before the machine breaks.  You need the post office?  You will have to walk by it every day for a week before you catch it when it is open.  You hop into a rickshaw and PAY the driver to take you to YOUR destination?  That’s nice… you will probably have to stop with him to pick up his laundry, stop and talk to a friend on the street, and maybe pick up some potatoes for dinner…. All of this becomes quite funny over time… I just have to laugh… one just has to laugh. 

So… I’m sitting here laughing as I wait for a chai I ordered an hour ago ;)

xe 

Bangles and Bindis and Boys... oh my!! (sorry, i had to... have i mentioned that India is making me more lame?? oy)

Dad, remember how I promised that I would never ride a motorcycle? Well, I am sorry because I did.  You might be thinking… idiot, why wouldn’t elinor just not say anything and keep that a secret? Well… because your dear idiot daughter didn’t know how to get off of the motorcycle (lack of experience ;)) and ended up hard core burning her leg on the exhaust pipe.  Definitely going to leave a mark… so I kind of had to tell you. That sucks.  But, to my defense, I was visiting a school in the middle of nowhere and the only way I could get home is if I waited an hour for a taxi to come pick me up… and I was having another Indian sickness day and waiting was not an option. 

 

So, I moved yet again.  I am living in Dharamkot now ( I spoke about it earlier as “little Israel”) but now that I am living there I am seeing that it is just so much more! Everything is still in Hebrew and the Israelis are definitely taking over BUT the entire village is related… seriously… everyone is related. Actually the three villages on that mountainside are all related.  They speak their own language called Gadi or mountain language, which I have been trying to learn… It is funny though because if these three villages speak this language (and maybe a few more around the area) and all of the people are related…Gadi is like a giant family language right?

 

So, mountainside… 5 of my friends and I took over a guesthouse owned by this guy Shiva, his wife Kanu, and his mother Krishna.  Shiva and Kanu are the most beautifully relaxed couple I have ever met.  They wake up at 6ish and spend the morning just sitting together and talking.  I don’t think that I will end up living in the mountains when I am older but I hope that I can have a couple hours every day to just talk with the person I love.  It is so nice.  The two of them are really gorgeous and simple and smart and interested… long story short I am in love with both of them and if I ever disappear you can find me in their guesthouse. 

It is absolutely silent at night and the goats and cows just wander around us… the bugs are absolutely insane- I saw a worm with a flashlight butt- his bum is a green light… think permanent fire-fly but a worm…there is a giant centipede hiding in my room which kind of freaks me out but I try not to think about it… I’m scared I’m going to wake up with it in my mouth… anyhow, we have a huge patio where we do work and just sit and joke around.  Remember how I was a total negative fool at the beginning of this trip and said that none of the people ‘get me’ well… I have been greatly proven wrong and I am admiringly in love with my group- there is one girl Stacey who I have been living with for the past month and a half and she is just the most wonderfully unpredictable girl in the world- she is absolutely hilarious and is always joking around and then right when you start thinking “what a class clown” BAM her brilliant neuroscience mind smacks you across the face and just stimulates your thinking… Casey is another one that just blows my mind every day- again, a hilarious and brilliant hipster looking boy that invests himself fully in things that interest him and he never lets a question go unanswered… he is determined in life to figure out a way that physics can explain the mind and in 20 years WILL be that quirky professor at Harvard with crazy hair that writes books that just don’t make sense to the average thinker.  Casey’s girlfriend’s best friend is a friend of mine at Barnard (small world) and so, all of you will meet him next semester.

 

Speaking of physics… I was more formally introduced to the String Theory last week and HOLY SHIT!  SO COOL! I know that it is still just a theory, and I know that I only understand it on a total basic level, but my god, it totally makes sense to me.  I hated my physics class in high school but I have really gotten into the parallels between quantum mechanics and fundamental Buddhist philosophies… again, information that I am just barely scraping the top of but it is pretty fucking cool.  

 

Oh wait, another story as to why I am petarded… SO. I went to this little Indian village with my program director on a mission to buy bangles and bindis (now that I am living in India and not mini-Tibet I can dress like an Indian and not be made fun of by my Tibetan friends) SO… on my mission I found the most beautiful bangles AND was advised by my director and the woman at the store that I have to get the right size because bangles aren’t supposed to fall below your wrist when you hold your arm facing down… so think about it… the bangle is supposed to be semi-fitted on your wrist… so a bangle that is usually made of glass or plastic is supposed to SOMEHOW fit over your hand and be semi-fitted on your wrist… following? Ok… so I started trying on all of the bracelets and kept on saying that they didn’t fit and was looking for bigger ones… the shopkeeper looked at me and ticked her tongue in a “you’re an idiot they do fit you’re just not doing it right kind of way” and she grabbed my hand and literally massaged these bangles onto my wrist… OW!! But ok! Great! Lovely! They are pretty and voila- I am Indian…  I wore them that day and then that night I started to smell bad… not going to lie, I have been smelling pretty dandy given the smell standard in this Indian summer but I literally started to smell… nauseatingly so… and then I realized it was the bangles!! I called my director and asked her why they smelled like melted shit and she said “ohh… yeah… sometimes the plastic doesn’t really do well in the heat…” (that is so India… a product MADE here that just doesn’t actually WORK here… fabulous) So… I hung up and actually started to get nauseous and decided- enough is enough I am taking them off…

 

Taking them off…

 

Not so easy.  I tried and thought my hands were going to fall off, mind you, the sides of my hands were still bruised and red and cut up from getting the bangles on…so I stopped trying and thought I NEED AN INDIAN TO HELP ME… BUT by this time Kanu was sleeping… so I slept that night with tee shirts wrapped around the bangles so that I didn’t die from the smell… gross right? Anyways, I woke up the next morning and Kanu drenched my hands in lotion and ripped them all off of me… OW!! Damn.  But miss brilliant elinor thought, WOW, this is a part of the Indian culture that I just didn’t know about- these women go through so much to wear bangles… adoration galore. But then Kanu told me that I shouldn’t have bought such small bangles because they shouldn’t hurt… and at that moment my cultural vision was shattered.  I’m an idiot.

 

Another cultural vision was shattered and put back together a few nights ago when I was walking in Mcleod and this drunk guy was stumbling down the street with his pants undone.  He said something to me and my friends and we just walked away and before we knew it these 4 Indian cops with sticks started beating him- They hit him with their sticks and then one of the guys slapped him so hard across the face that the poor guy fell to the floor… you would think that this would make the cops stop? No, why would they? I know that there is a lot of corruption in Indian authority but seriously? If I weren’t so scared of the cops here and the “system” I would have yelled at them… but I have also heard too much about the horrendous abuse that Indian women are subjected to in this area that I didn’t say or do anything.  To be honest, I kind of feel like an ass hole for just letting the shmucks abuse their power and exert their repulsive egos… gross.

 

Oh a happier note… I went on an epic hike lead by my philosophy teacher and her two teachers (monks in their mid 50s) from IBD… the two of them were strolling up the mountain and I was leaving a trail of sweat and tears behind me… they climbed the mountain with such ease, each holding an umbrella to protect themselves from the sun… and I actually couldn’t keep up with them… So what was the purpose of the hike? We actually went to visit a meditator who lives in retreat in this hut on the mountain.  He spends most of his time inside of the hut doing his practices and food is brought to him (I gave him a snickers bar… so not appropriate, most people give fruit but I thought the fruit must get boring).  Watch the snickers be the fuel that brings him to the direct realization of emptiness… kidding but how funny would that be?

 

So, my classes are over and I have the next few weeks to do research on my topic of choice.  I am looking into the New Education Policy of the Tibetan Government-in-Exile and want to use this idealistic vision to gage where their education system is right now.  I cannot really put my thoughts into words because I don’t really know where my thoughts are right now… It has been quite the journey though, the Tibetan community in exile in Northern India is so small that I literally just walk into the Department of Education and say “hi, can I talk to your director?” and voila.. I have been interviewing really interesting people and am excited to see where all of this goes…

 

Did I ever talk about how unbelievably beautiful Tibetan men are?  Not only will I confidently say that on average they are the most beautiful group of men I have ever seen, but I will also venture out to say that there is an odd magnetism between Tibetan men and American women.  It is physically hard to walk down the street or get anything done because my eyes cannot focus.  My friends are enjoying themselves but I decided to just enjoy the eye candy… relationships with Tibetans just seem to be too complicated and not worth it… I’m having too much fun for that.

 

We have our audience with HHDL in a few weeks and then the group goes on a weekend retreat together and c’est tout… semester is over! A few of my friends and I are planning a trip to Ladakh that is to start end of May.  I’m really looking forward to it…

 

Ah, last thing… so I always say that being in India tests my English language skills because I always find myself reading something in English but not understanding it… so… the sign that I saw that said “If Married Divorce to Speed.” What?  Well, thanks to India I learned that the word “cum” also means “with” or “combined with”… so one will see signs that say “Internet cum coffee” or “water cum refrigerator” or “sandwich cum salad”… the list goes on… makes me laugh every time… yes, I’m 8 years old… on that note…

 

back to work! Wishing you all well… x

 

 

a perfect distraction.

I have to write a 15 page paper for tomorrow and i am choosing to update this instead.  I thought i would leave my last minute homework tendencies at home... apparently not. 

 

So, I am back in Dharamsala and living in a hotel with the rest of the group... it is basically a frat house and i am loving it.  It's brilliant.  I am saying that "i am back" because i just got back from my spring break.  I traveled with my friends Allie, Josh, Stacey, and Becky.. the first two go to Columbia and the latter two are students at Emory. We first went to Agra for 14 hours (which was definitely enough time in that city) to see the Taj Mahal.  It is as beautiful and incredible as you think it would be... it is huge, beautifully white, and clean... just lovely.  They charge Indians 10Rs. to get in and foreigners must pay 700Rs.  isn't that insane?  Apparently it cost about 2,000Rs. a few months ago but anyways, I tried to be Indian when i bought the tickets but it didn't work... so yes, i was scammed and paid too much money to see the Taj Mahal. I don't regret it though- it truly was incredible.  Agra, on the other hand, not so much.  The sections of the city are either 147% filled with tourists and thus annoying and unnecessarily expensive OR they are completely untouched by tourists which is fun but also intense.  I saw my first Indian elephant and camel which put all of the Israeli camels and American elephants I have seen to shame.  I NEVER KNEW ELEPHANTS AND CAMELS COULD BE THAT BIG!!  I was in a rickshaw and turned the corner to see this MASSIVE elephant walking down the street being ridden by this man ON the main road.. the elephant's face was painted pink and yellow and its feet were painted so it looked like it was wearing shoes... it was adorable.  Definitely the biggest adorable thing i have ever seen in my life.  I saw camel-drawn carriages holding 7 people... THAT attests to how big the camels were... really my understanding of a camel's size drastically changed.  We roamed the more untouched streets which was fun... intense... and fun.... and we actually got caught in a parade and all of the Indian men grabbed my friend Josh and pulled him into the center where everyone was dancing... then he grabbed me and the rest of the girls and gave us flower necklaces, food and bandanas and made us dance.  I am so glad that I was traveling with a boy because if i was alone that would NEVER happen.  Women are never included in the street festivals- one will only see men dancing... but I guess the men felt more comfortable bringing us in because Josh was with us. Speaking of that male-comfort when we went to restaurants or got onto trains or had any questions or walked into shops everyone would only talk to Josh.... "sir, what will you all be ordering?" "sir, the train is coming in ten minutes" "sir, where are you all from?"... it was pretty interesting.  I felt like i had a secretary. Thanks Josh. 

So, while we were caught up in the little parade i noticed this very flamboyant man getting pushed around and I just watched... he was not getting beaten up, men were pushing him away because he was getting very close to them and touching them.  The man was definitely gay and I could tell that he was marginalized in the crowd.  It was really sad because i could see that he adopted that place in society and was very loud and pulled his pants down and asked men to spank him and he was kind of just running around like the town's clown.  I am not really sure how homosexuality is accepted in India but it is interesting because, and i think i mentioned this earlier, the men walk around holding hands and are really affectionate with one another because PDA with women is strictly forbidden.  Something i have to ask about.  I'll let you know. 

 

So after Agra we went to Varanasi.  

 

VARANASI... what an incredible city!! Not that i have seen much of India at all... but if i can recommend one place to go, Varanasi is it.  I definitely cannot sum up the city on a blog and so i will just say a few things and just hope that you can go there soon...  So, first and foremost... the Ganga! The Ganges River! I have to first clarify to all of those who did not believe me... THE GOONCH LIVES! But, in Hindi they call it Rohoo Bakur... so take that all of you nonbelievers.  It lives at the bottom of the river and eats the bodies that are tossed into the river... not everyone is allowed to be cremated and so they are thrown into the river with a brick attached to their ankle.... I spent a lot of time sitting at the burning ghat (where they cremate the bodies) and it was surprisingly not as shocking as i believed.  A body burning doesn't scare me as much as i thought it would.  It's a body that can't be used anymore (again, easy to say when i dont know any of the people getting cremated).  I've been more aware of how I have been trained to fear death growing up in the West and I am just feeling less so now that i have recognized the ridiculousness of such a fear.  I think it was Shakespeare who said that is is funny that we fear the one thing that is inevitable in life... very true. Thank you Shakespeare.  Anyways, the burning ghats were incredible to see- everything is so systematic.  200 bodies are cremated every day and it is open 24/7. When walking through the city one will hear people chanting and turn around to see a group of men walking holding a stretcher made out of bamboo with a body of a family member on it- they chant "Truth is God. God is Truth" in Hindi.  Very matter-of-fact. Very natural.  Varanasi is such an ancient and beautiful and rich city... not money rich even though it was more modern than most of the places i have been in India, but rich with energy  (oh god....  i'm sounding more and more like a philosophy hippy no? .. kidding) but yes, the energy... the colors... the religious energy... the kindness of the people... it's just incredible.  So, we stayed for a few days and then planned to leave for Rajasthan.  PLANNED.  I ended up getting Shigella ... fabulous.  My friends went on to Rajasthan and I checked into a really nice hotel (cost $16 a night... and it was super fancy- I LOVE THIS COUNTRY). I ended up finding out that i had to check into a hospital and if you saw the hospital in Varanasi you would understand why i just caught the next flight to Delhi and checked myself in there... so i spent the last few days of my spring break in a clinic room stuck to an IV watching Hindi music videos and Bollywood movies in Hindi... least to say, if my friend Courtney weren't in Delhi and didn't come to visit me i would go crazy...  It wasn't that bad though- it is incredible how easily one can adapt.  Time passes and then these things that sound so horrific are over and it is a new day.  

While in the hospital i fell in love with India.  I fucking LOVE this country.  There are so many people and everything is extreme here... i have smelled the most incredible smells of my life here and then i have smelled the absolute worst/ nose-breaking smells.  I have seen the most incredible mountains and the most beautiful cities... i have seen the most lively and rich faces and i have seen dead people.... i have seen animals roaming the streets and then on the plates next to me... i have seen BMWs and one porsche and have seen people living in shacks...  I have taken a beautiful 45 minute flight from one city to the next and have spent 20 hours at a time on busy busy claustrophobic trains... I have seen the most corrupt police and the most honest shop owners... I have been scared and utterly calm... I have felt and been absolutely dirty and.... yeah... i guess i haven't actually felt clean yet... oh speaking of... when i checked into the brilliant hotel in Varanasi i took a shower without a bucket and the water was coming down on me from the shower head... that was the first time since january 14th.  That makes me laugh.  SO... with all of these extremes the one thing that connects all of the people here seems to be their love of this country-  I cannot tell you how many locals have said "WELCOME TO INDIA" or "India welcomes you!" "I hope you enjoy my country".... I am only that proud when in New York City but i dont think of the USA as MY country... I am not that overjoyed by it nor do i feel any connection to it.. I am American but don't feel proud of America... weird right?  That just doesn't make sense.  I know that i take my life in America for granted but anyways, I dont feel part of an "Americanness"... 

 

Oh, something else about Varanasi- EVERY INDIAN IN VARANASI SPEAKS HEBREW!! You know a lot of Israelis travel somewhere when... 

It was insane.. i would walk down the street and everyone would say "shalom! ma kore??" my jaw was on the floor the entire time... probably not a good idea because water buffalo roam the streets like squirrel do in new york city... a few of them charged down an alley when my friend Stacey and i were walking and let me just say that I was a fool and just stood there because it was my first time witnessing a large mammal charging and i simply didn't know what to do... a shop owner ended up shoving me and Stacey into a wall which saved us. Dhanyavad/Thank you shop owner. 

 

RANDOM: A little something to think about... so... what makes Elinor Elinor?  I would say my mind and my body... right? the two come together to make "me".  So why is it that i point to my heart when i talk about myself?  Think about it... if someone just said "YOU are the one who stole the money!" Wouldn't you point to your heart and say "ME?"... 

another random thing that I have been thinking about... so have you ever been in a situation where someone was just not being themselves or if someone is just not paying attention and caught yourself saying "where did you just go?" or have you ever heard someone say that to you? Isn't that a weird phrase to naturally say given the fact that we said Elinor is her mind and body...i dont know if that made sense but it does in my head... if i dont resolve this by the time i leave here we can talk about it when i get back... sorry for that stream of thought... 

 

So, I left the clinic in Delhi just in time to arrive in Dharamsala and catch the Nechung Oracle go into trance back at Sarah.  What does that mean?  Well, the oracle is this man through whom Nechung, the spirit, enters and gives advice to the world... or in this case to the reincarnate of Gen Lopsang Gyatso... again, i am not so sure how i feel about all of these ideas of reincarnates and spirits but i must say that it was incredible to see how all of the believers reacted.  Actually, even if i do eventually believe in reincarnations i dont think that it is fair to take a boy when he is 8 years old and tell him that he used to be someone else... most children don't have personal agency at that age but i find it to be extremely limiting and unfair to tell a child that he was someone else in his last life and that it is his duty to carry on the life that "he started" in his past life... i dont think it is fair or healthy.  So this all must sound so ridiculous right?  Reincarnations of people who have passed... worldly spirits entering into a mans body to give information to those residing in this realm... protection mantras... lucky grains of rice...  crazy eh? 

Well.. I am not sure what i believe in but yeah, I think some of this sounds pretty out of this world.  This week was a beautiful week though because I went from having this oracle experience on Monday to going to the Chabad house for the second seder on Thursday night and yeah... religion is pretty out of this world and crazy... the Rabbi let it be known that studying the Torah is THE way to happiness and THE way to figuring out the truth... he mocked me for finding truth in some Buddhist philosophy and I just laughed.  Why? Well... because i think it is really funny that some hold their truth to be THE truth... their god to be THE god... their tradition to be THE way... and their texts to be THE texts.  I am not condemning religion but i am condemning some peoples' inability to open their eyes and be interested in the different ways people choose to gain knowledge and gain a better understanding of themselves and who they are and why we are all here and what we are all doing.... I have found this intolerance within some of the Buddhist communities i have stepped into and definitely was saddened to see it in the Chabad house.  The members of the Chabad house were uninterested in hearing about what i am learning and they were completely incurious about Dharamsala and the exiled Tibetan community living here... and in the Buddhist circle i have been hearing people tell me that i am "just not ready" to become a Buddhist because i told them that i was not interested in taking the refuge vows (taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma (his teachings) and the Sangha (the buddhist community of realized beings))... there is this weird detachment between believers in a faith (whether it be judaism or buddhism) and the nonbelievers.  Its really unfortunate though because we all have a lot to learn from each other... and if our eyes are SO CLOSED that we cannot look past our group of black hat black coat wearers or the red robe wearers... we are going to remain ignorant for a long long long time. 

As far as i am concerned, and please tell me if i am wrong, no one REALLY knows what we are doing here and why we are here... some of us have found truth in certain philosophies and answers provided by different religions and some of us have come up with our own answers and reasons and some of us don't even think about it... so, how does one have the right to tell someone else that their reason is wrong?  For me... THAT is the craziest of all... crazier than a spirit coming into ones body... crazier than some believing that the Messiah is back.  Do you know why? because i can't 100% say that the spirit isn't there and i cannot 100% say that the man with the white beard isn't the Messiah... i just don't know. But what i do know is that if we cannot find space and time to respect all people for their infinite answers and reasons to these inexplicable questions we are fucked.  

 

On that note... i am going to write my paper. Sending Indian love and Shigella to all 5 of you who read this... hi mom and dad!! ;) 

ps. remember how i spoke about how the Tibetan language is very in line with the Tibetan mentality and Buddhist philosophy? WELL... they have a word "shemshock" that means finding the truth with the power of the heart... I wonder if there is aWestern language that would have a word for such a concept. 

more...

Humayan's tomb.  This was one of the Alladin moments I had... 

A few of the boys at the shelter I told you about. 

A cutie-pattooty scrunch face at a temple in Delhi. 

Sunday in India. 

I will add more photos later... but i have to run to class... xx

Finally .... les photos

A market in Delhi... notice all of the lovely ladies in the crowd. 

This is Kinari Bazaar in Old Delhi... definitely one of my favorite places in the world. 

Traffic in Kinari Bazaar 

mom meet monk... monk meet mom.

No more campus- i moved to the "city", Mcleod Ganj, and when i say city i mean a hill station with three winding streets on the side of a mountain.... it's fabulous.... (I know that i promised some of you pictures but I forgot the cord to connect my camera to my computer and... because i would have to trek up these winding roads to get home.... i decided i will do it later on this week... sorry). 

So, I moved into a home stay... which i like to call my room stay.  I am living with my Aja-lah (older sister) and my Ama-lah (mom) in a room that is the size of my dorm room from last semester.  It might sound like i am complaining but know that I'm not.  It is actually pretty amazing to see how much stuff and space i can live without (finding an apartment for next semester will be way easier now that my standards are ridiculously low- i wonder how long this will last).  The living situation is crazy though- i spend half of my time just staring at the things that go on around me... We wake up at 6am and from 6-7 my mom prepares the shrine/altar...  (which takes up one third of the room by the way).  She does prostrations and prays as she refills the offering cups with water and fills the room with incenses (i once woke up to her dangling the incense basket over my head and i thought that there was a fire... it was funny. kind of) ... So watching her is pretty incredible- I have never seen anyone so dedicated... anyways... my Ama-lah is from Tibet, a village near Mt.Kailash (which, i just learned is the strongest tantric site (energy wise) in the world, pretty cool) so yes, she does not know a word of English and my Tibetan is limited... so all i say to her is "this is delicious... I will see you later... Goodnight! Good morning! Monkey (ill explain later)...." but I can tell that she is just a really good and nice person- her smile is incredible and she giggles a lot.  Her daughter/my sister on the other hand is quite a character.  I call her Hitler... She is so bossy it is incredible! I haven't been around someone this bossy since elementary school... here are a few of our conversations... 

(after marching 4 miles on Tibetan Uprising Day) 

Elinor: I'm hungry, I'm going to get some grapes so that i can survive the rest of the walk.

Aja-lah: No. You're not. 

Elinor: Um. Yes. 

(After eating three servings of food because she wouldn't stop giving me food and telling me that i have to finish it)

Elinor: This is delicious but i am full. 

Aja-lah: Try harder.

(Again, after eating another insanely big meal) 

Elinor: My stomach hurts- this was so good but i am full! Thank you!

Aja-lah: Push Harder

(sitting in a cab with my legs to the side with my ankles crossed... elegant right? Apparently not. )

Aja--lah: Sit properly!

Me: What?? 

(After 3 days of living in her room)

Aja-lah: I don't know your name. 

Elinor: Haha

Silence

Elinor: Really? Elinor.

Aja-lah: Eh wn?

Elinor: Just call me El

(FYI: She doesn't call me anything... she communicates with me through commands)

I am laughing just thinking about these conversations... you should have seen my faces i have never been so confused!! What?? Really?? So a few days ago I went to Bhagsunag which is another little hill town which is famous for its beautiful waterfall and is infamous this little tea shop above the waterfall which serves marijuana tea and pot lassies (similar to milkshakes) and so, my friends and i went to try everything... least to say, none of it really worked BUT the cafe was relaxing and beautiful nonetheless AND there was marijuana growing freely around us... it was beautiful.  Anyways, I guess the drinks must have worked a little bit because when i got home to have dinner with my mom and Hitler I finally had the courage to say "No. I will not eat any more"  My ama-lah laughed because i was laughing and Hitler wasn't too happy... (In class today i asked my teacher how to say "sorry but that is impossible" in Tibetan... and so i think I'm set for a bit... ;) ) At the end of the day though my sister is a good person... a bit mistaken but is harmless. 

I am realizing that i am just blabbering so, I'm going to do the whole "topic title" thing so that you don't have to waste your time reading everything. So, if you haven't given up already.... 

MY ROOM:

As i said before, i live in a room with my mom, sister, and alter... fortunately i went to the house before i had time to collect my luggage BECAUSE there is no room in the house for the small suite case i planned to bring with me... so i bought a little bag and put some clothes, underwear and toothbrush in it and that little bag is hiding under my bed... The place is actually quite comfortable- it is warm at night and i have a bed so no complaining.. There is a tin roof and so I hear EVERY monkey foot/hand step.. which is a bit scary (stories to follow) and there is no bathroom in the house.. the bathroom is down the alley- it is clean but definitely a bit scary to go to at night.... Oh and i have a 7:30 curfew... and that shouldn't be a big deal because what else would i be doing right? but i can't do anything in my room except watch my mom and sister talk in Tibetan and try to guess what they are talking about... or sleep. I tried to do work a few times but then my sister says "Ok, now i teach you Korean" and then i tried to smile and nod and then she says "where is your notebook? I teach you Korean"... then i put my books away and she says "You don't do homework- it is bad... other students do homework you are a bad student." AHHHH... i am convinced that this is all just a test of my patience and so all i can do is laugh... 

PEEYUU:

I was sitting with my ama-lah and she said "peeyuu!" so i thought "sure, smell bad? ok... we are in India!" so i said "peeyuu" back... then i realized that there was a monkey in our kitchen...ohhh ok... "peeyu" means monkey. 

I actually saw a monkey walking (on his two feet) into some one's apartment a few days ago... it was really funny... it looked like he lived there and was just going home... 

Another monkey story... so a few nights ago i had a crazy nightmare about monkeys with rabies and I woke up and thought "Elinor, you are 21 enough with these lame nightmares" and then i realized that there was monkeys CHILLING on my roof! I heard them walking and eating... I laughed... shook my head... and went back to sleep thinking "elinor... have as many nightmares as you want" ;) 

HOLY:

I have to talk about this briefly because a few people asked me about it... so Holy is a Hindi holiday in which there is a reversal of roles with the gods? and the gods throw colors at each other? i don't know... all i do know is that this holiday is celebrated with Indians running around throwing dry chalk at each other and so the streets and people are COVERED in hot pink, neon green, and yellow colors... so it turned out that Holy fell on the same day as His Holiness's public teaching (which were on emptiness and were brilliant!!!) and so my friends and i were all wearing our chupas and walked through the streets saying "oh please... we are wearing chupas that is not fair..." and no one touched us... i ended up changing and then went out with friends and i saw a huge group of men (obviously men because there are no Indian women to be found on the streets of India) so yes, a group of men waiting down the street with their hands filled with chalk... so i hid behind my friend Stacey who was wearing a chupa and it worked for a bit and then i saw a guy coming at me... so i ran into a store thinking "haha... i am safe! you can't get me in here!" so... thinking i am miss smarty pants I'm laughing in the store and then a guy just walked in with a "you think i care" face on and SMEARED this chalk all over my face and it was gross and funny... so then i just ran out and as i was running down the hill all of these other men just smeared this chalk on my face... and i was laughing so my mouth was open and some of Indian-man-hand and this chalk got into my mouth... I am using the word smear on purpose because it is just so gross having ANYONE let alone strangers rub their hands on your face... hahaha EW!! I like to say i was face-raped.  (All i could think of was that scene in some movie with Ben Stiller playing basketball and he jumps up to make a shot and this fat and sweaty man jumps at the same time and Ben Stiller's face just SMEARS across the fat guys stomach???? anyone???)

HHDL:

His public teachings were awesome- unfortunately it was only one day this year (usually it will last for a week) but it was still amazing... i love watching masses of people react to HHDL- it is really fascinating.  Anyways, he was supposed to discuss the Jataka Tales (tales of the Buddha's past lives... blahhhh) BUT just my luck he taught about dependent arising and emptiness- sweet! (you know i am turning into a total loser when....) seriously though, it really was amazing.  They say that when you read HHDL's books or hear his teachings they all sound the same (so true) but they say that when you read/study this stuff you have to apply the teachings to your life AT THAT MOMENT... so it is pretty cool following my own thoughts and see where my head is all the time... 

UPRISING DAY/WOMEN'S UPRISING DAY:

I don't want to talk about these days much but i will just say that they were pretty incredible... Tibetan Women's Uprising Day is not a day of women uprising for their own rights... it is a day of Tibetan women protesting against the COLLECTIVE issues that Tibetan people and Tibet is facing... it is really beautiful.  As a Westerner... a Barnardian Westerner... I admit that anytime i hear anything about women protesting i think it is them trying to defend themselves or their rights... it was nice to see that that is not necessarily true- there was nothing gender-specific about the day. 

YOGA:

I started doing yoga every day.... not only do i feel fat (still a bag of rice... but now a bag of rice with great legs thanks to the mountain lifestyle) and i feel like i can't breath (I'm blaming the altitude... but then i realized that my instructor inhales and exhales twice in a minute and now I'm thinking it might just be me....).  My instructor is a snake- literally he moves like Gumbi... and it is just brilliant. 

TITLE:

Just to explain the title... so in this culture one calls any older woman "Aja-lah" (older sister) out of respect... every nun is referred to as "ani-lah"... every monk is referred to as "kusho-lah" or "tapa-lah" and so.... when i introduce people it sounds like "monk meet nun" and i just think it is funny... because then my friend will be on the phone and I'll ask who is on the phone? and they say "ani-lah" oh... wow that's fantastic because i know exactly who you are talking about... 

VEGETARIAN: 

So I decided not to eat meat while in India because of cleanliness issues... BUT my ani-lah (hah) told me about this little place with the BEST tandoori chicken in India so my group decided to go... and because we are a group of 15 people we had to call the little hole in the wall place and say "Hey... a big group of people are coming tomorrow" sooo.... my teacher comes up to me the night before and asks " are you eating meat tomorrow" so i said... ehhh i don't know yet- why? and she said " they have to know how many chickens to kill".... 

WHAT!!?!

I am so used to ordering chicken off of a menu or having it on the table because my mom bought it earlier from ShopRight.... i am SO detached from the whole process that i realized that i have to stop eating meat... I don't think there is anything wrong about eating meat and about killing animals to eat them even though that sounds extremely depressing BUT... i do think something is wrong with the fact that i don't mind eating an animal but i do mind killing an animal... doesn't make sense right??

Right... so i decided to stop eating meat until i become more aware of  what had to be done to get that meat.... i think that is important of everything though no? we should be able to eat a salad and stop for a second and think "wow... someone lives on a farm and collected these tomatoes and then someone else collected them and then someone else sorted through them oh wow and then someone else brought them to shop right and now i am eating them..."

Ok... i have to go home because it is 7:23 and i don't want sergeant Hitler to kill me... 

xxe